Where are the Rocks?

Yesterday, I went to a funeral at our old church downtown. A good friend came in and sat down beside me and we were talking about all the memories we had there. The crow's nest on Sunday morning and the back row on Sunday nights. Having choir, training union, church and then fellowships. What fun times we had, I could see 100 youth up front doing Good News, we really rocked that church with that. First time drums and guitars had been in the sanctuary. I thought about all the adults that had shaped our lives into who we are today. They were the rocks of that church and held it together. I thought who are the rocks today, it scares me of where our church is going. Do we have any rocks, is my age group suppose to be the rocks. We are not our parents. So many of us have gone through divorce and our kids didn't have those rocks growing up. Our parents always knew where we were and who we were with. We wouldn't dare get out of line, because we not only faced our parents but we faced the parents of who we were with. So many of my friends have lost both parents now and I'm sure it won't be long till some more of us are added to the list. Back then there were only a few organizations in the church now there are about a dozen to choose from. No one is on the same page you just pick which one you think is best for you. I have a hard time understanding why parents let their children pick and choose what they want to do when it comes to church. We didn't have a choice if the door was open we were there. I'm just as guilty as the next parent, I didn't force Jamie to be there and look where he is today... I made mistakes and wasn't that rock that he needed. I just pray that parents today will make decisions for their children and stand up and be the rocks that we had in our lives growing up. I want the children of today to walk back in our sanctuary in 40 years and have a flood of memories of all the wonderful things they experienced there where they knew Jesus lived in each life.

Planning a Service

The more I've sat with mother during the last few days, the more I see that her time here is coming to an end. I decided on Friday that I would start working on her funeral service, so I wouldn't have that facing me when the time gets here. I already knew who she wanted to do her service so that was not a problem. As I sat thinking about the music I knew a couple of songs that she would want done. This morning I was looking over the order of worship before the choir rehearsed for the service, I noticed two songs on there that just jumped out at me. I knew that those were the songs I had been searching for. Mother isn't a praise chorus type person, but I knew she would approve of these. Lesli told me that if I did any of the 7-11 praise choruses that Gram would come back and haunt me. I decided to go with "Surely the Presence" and "In the Presence of Jehovah". These are two of my favorite and as we sang them during the service there was a peace that came over me that I know I have made the right choice. My mother has lived her life for Jesus and I know that He will be there the day we have her service.

What Would Daddy Do?

It's been 5 months since I posted anything, I don't have any excuses except I just haven't. Since the last post my mother has been diagnosed with Alzheimers and her health is about as bad as it can be and still be alive. I've thought often during this time what would my daddy do if he were still living. He would be taking care of her night and day and that's exactly what I am doing. They were married for 65 years and he waited on her all the time. I can't say the same for her, the week before he died she was gone to a football game. He always claimed he couldn't die during football season or mother would miss the funeral. He wasn't like that his family came first no matter what. Back to mother, a week ago when we went to the doctor she was down to 98 pounds (I'm sure she's smaller now). She has no appetite, even though I keep fixing her things and she will eat some of it and give the rest to the dog. I told the doctor that I wanted to check on getting home health and she said that she was calling hospice in. You could have knock me over when she said that, I didn't realize she was that bad. She explained when the weight dropped as low as it did it would only be a matter of time, because whatever she ate didn't have anything to absorb it. We called Hospice of Texarkana and they have been absolutely wonderful, such sweet people. Mother thinks they just come to visit she hasn't realized how bad she is. They sent a chaplain to visit with us and after talking to me he knew that we didn't need him that we were surrounded by wonderful Christian friends that are there for us in a heart beat. She can not be left alone now, so I have the responsiblity of being with her 24/7. When I do get to the point that I can't handle it anymore I have someone come and stay with her. My dear friend Jan who has been able to get mother to do anything comes and stays while I get out. Somedays I have to hire someone to come. While the nurse was here yesterday Mother's blood pressure was 60/40 and she was very concerned about this. After the visit with mother she sat and talked to me, when I told her that if I could keep her alive for two more weeks everyone would be back where they belong. Ross and Carolyn are in Florida and Rex and Mary are gone on a mission trip but all will be back July 10th. She didn't look really encouraging but said hopefully she will make it that long. I know her days are limited so if I have to sacrifice my life I will, I know that's what my daddy would do, but right now all he can do is wait for her to come home to him.

What's A Sister To Do?

It's been 2 months since I posted anything, but I'm back and going to try to do better. Alot has happened including going through the holidays and mother being in the hospital again for falling in the kitchen. I keep telling her if she's going to fall please stay out of the kitchen and on the carpet. Lesli and I have decided that it's all the milkshakes she drinks from Chick-fil-A that is saving her from breaking something. This time around she required staples in her head, the doctors told her that they were going to do this. She thought they were kidding, but changed her mind when they came in and put 4 staples in. She looked at me and said dang that hurt, what did they do...
Now, on to the title of this blog. I received an email from my brother in Thailand that is coming for a visit in April. He was wanting me to try and change the bed out in the (guest bedroom) which no longer exist. Not only is the bed gone it is now Allyssa's room and has a baby bed in it. I really don't think he will like sleeping in that so guess I will be giving up my bedroom while he is here. I can either sleep with mother, sleep on the couch, or sleep on a blow up mattress in Allyssa's room. It will be one of the latter two that I will pick. What sister's do for the family to keep peace, because I certainly don't want mother on my case and hoping she stays on her feet till he gets here.